Jack Update 8/22

By Kevin

Sorry I didn't send this earlier, but I think we contacted everyone after we heard the news.

Uncle Jack passed away Monday night the 20th of August. He was in hospice care at the Mountain's Edge Hospital in Las Vegas, where he had been since the 30th of July. He was admitted for his brain tumors, though his partner Shirley took him to the hospital after he fell and broke some ribs. Shirley wrote that when she visited him the next day, on the 31st, that was the last time he recognized her. Nearly every day since she would visit him, but he had stopped speaking, and when he opened his eyes would just look straight ahead.

His son David visited him in the hospital August 2nd and 3rd. Jack at first didn't recognize David, but later did. Jack said he wasn't in pain, due to the pain medication, but he was acting like nothing was wrong. He was sleeping a lot.

The Last Time We Saw Jack

On Friday July 20th at about 5:30pm Jack and Shirley arrived at my Dad's house after Shirley drove them all day from Las Vegas. I was there to go with Dad to see his doctor about Dad's right hand injury, and get Dad's permission to be his caregiver (have access to his medical records, and be able to send and receive messages with his doctors).

Jack was very talkative, and Shirley later commented on how she hadn't seen him that way. I'm not sure if it was due to his medical condition, but he was more talkative than I remembered.

Jack had hoped to enroll in Kaiser healthcare, and find a surgeon in San Francisco who could remove his brain tumors. A surgeon Jack consulted with in Las Vegas said the best surgeons to do Jack's operation were in San Francisco. But Jack didn't have an appointment with a surgeon, and not even the name of a surgeon, though we later found that he did. It seemed he expected Dad to drive him to San Francisco to meet with surgeons. He hadn't called Dad or he would have found out that Dad was no longer allowed to drive, and had severely injured his right hand.

Shirley had planned to leave early Sunday, with or without Jack, but Saturday morning, when only Jack, Shirley, and I were up, Jack discussed the situation (Dad's inability to drive and injury) with Shirley and decided to leave with Shirley on Sunday. Once my Dad was up Saturday morning, I suggested we all have breakfast at IHOP just down the hill. Shirley's car was in the car port, so I parked my car on the street, but even then it was difficult for Jack to get to the car with his walker and get in.

We each had a great breakfast, with Jack eating so much that Shirley joked he would soon be falling asleep, and he did seem tired. He predicted that the morning fog would disappear at 11am, as it always did in El Cerrito, but it was a little earlier that we started to see a lot of blue sky.

I decided that since it had been so difficult to get everyone in my car, we would take advantage of being out and do some sightseeing. I think Jack suggested seeing the house on C street where they had lived, so I drove us there. In all this time I hadn't been there! Jack talked about the park across the street, some things about the house, and the kids who had lived nearby.

Since El Cerrito High School was close by, and Jack may not have seen it since the remodel, I thought we would go there next. Jack was disappointed that the "E C" spelled out in hedges had been taken out. He didn't recognize much other than where the gym is. I also drove around the back so we could see the football and track field. As we started to head back to Dad's, I asked Jack if he had any stories about the neighborhood we were driving through, and he said it wasn't one of his old stomping grounds.

When we got back home, we sat around and chatted a little.

After driving through a lot of traffic, Margaret arrived and was able to spend some time with Jack and Shirley. We had met Shirley on our last family trip to Las Vegas several years ago.

Margaret invited Dad to stay a while at our house in Milpitas. I wanted to make sure that Margaret invited him so he would know that she wanted him to stay, and she could say how excited she was about the changes she had made. She had converted her first floor craft room into a bedroom for Dad, and had it all set up for him. She had setup part of our bedroom for her crafts. Dad said a visit sounded good and he would come down with me when I left on Sunday. Margaret stayed a while and talked with Jack and Shirley. Dad had gone to the bathroom just before Margaret thought she should leave, so she asked us to say goodbye for her.

A little while later is when Dad had his second big fall that I described in another blog post. Jack wasn't sure why Dad and I were quickly leaving (for the ER), but Shirley explained it to him. I gave Shirley a quick hug since I didn't know if we would be able to say goodbye before she left the next morning.

When Dad and I returned from the ER around 8:30pm, Shirley had gone to bed in the front bedroom, and Jack was sleeping on the living room sofa. Dad walked over to Jack, but I was worried he would wake Jack. But he wanted to say goodbye. Jack was still awake, and saw Dad's bandage on his left arm. Jack looked at me and asked if Dad was okay, and I gave a thumbs up, not knowing how well Jack could hear me. Jack told Dad a good way for him to keep his balance is to have his arms out like a tightrope walker, and that Jack does that. Jack put his arms out to demonstrate and said "keep your balance, keep your balance!" That's the last image I have of Jack.