Howard Update 3/23

By Kevin

Though I was sick with a cold during the week, I was well enough to visit Dad on Saturday. Katie also had a bad cold, so Margaret took her to urgent care Saturday morning since she had a high temperature, and kept complaining about her throat being sore. So far it doesn't look like strep throat. So it was just me visiting Dad.

I arrived around noon, and Dad wasn't in the room, so most likely at lunch. I dropped off some hearing aid batteries and other supplies. I watched a little TV to make sure it was working, since Pat saw problems with it, and it wasn't on when I arrived. The TV was working fine.

Dad arrived around 1:00 in his wheelchair with the help of a caregiver. When he saw me he said, "Well, about time one of you came to visit." He is much thinner than the last time I saw him, with his face looking thin. His hair had been cut, but also looked thinner. He wanted to take a nap, and was able to stand up from his wheelchair and sit on the bed. As he was getting onto the bed he said, "You know, it's terrible." And I said, "Being so tired?" And he said, "Yes." I'm still learning that I should ask him what he means rather than proposing an answer.

I told him I would take his hearing aids to be cleaned. He said that they work sometimes, and sometimes not. The caregiver and I removed his hearing aids. He said, "I wish there was some way we could communicate." I held up my phone that has an app I can use to show the text of what I speak. He said, "Okay." And laid back on the bed.

I took his hearing aids to a hearing aid center at El Cerrito Plaza, where they quickly cleaned them for free, and warned me about some minor damage for Costco to repair. I had lunch at Chipotle across the street, a coffee at Peet's across the street from Chipotle, then back to a See's Candies near the hearing aid center for a pound of soft center candies for Dad. But first I stopped off at the house to pick up Dad's mail that Connie (the tenant) left out for me, and check to see how the house is.

Back at Royale at 3:45, Dad was still sleeping. I put batteries in his hearing aids so they would be ready when he woke up. He woke up at 4:15 and after i put his hearing aids in he asked what time it was. He was surprised he slept so long. After a visit to the bathroom, he sat in his lounge chair and I opened the See's. He had one, and enjoyed it. His hearing aids seemed to be working well.

He started asking me a lot of questions. "What is this place? What are those (wheelchair and walker) for? Who's taking care of the house? Who is paying all the girls (the caregivers)?" I answered all his questions, and he seemed satisfied with the answers. He asked about Margaret and Katie and I told him about Katie being sick and Margaret taking her to the hospital. He didn't comment, but later asked if Katie was getting better. I told him things like the next Pelican race being in Stockton, but he didn't comment.

He said, "the days keep coming and going." He also commented that he often finds himself in unfamiliar places, but has gotten used to that. I asked him if he had been watching any TV, and he said he hasn't, though he used to watch a lot. I asked about his appetite, and he said he doesn't have much of an appetite, and he doesn't "feel the lack" (hunger) between meals.

He asked how big his balcony is, and whether he could sit out there. I told him it was large enough for him to sit on, and that I had an outdoor chair from home in his room that he could use. He decided to get up, and started to get up without the walker handy, so I moved it for him to use. He used the walker to go to the sliding door to the balcony, bu then decided to sit inside. I got a chair for him, and we sat and looked outside at the hills.

At about 5:15 a caregiver came to take him to dinner. For about a week he has been having meals in the "memory center" where they feed him, since the hospice nurse was concerned that he's not eating enough. I decided it would be a good time to leave so I said goodbye, and that I would see him again (most likely Thursday after work).

Howard Update 3/17

By Kevin, based on conversation with Pat (any errors are mine)

Friday night (3/15) about 9 pm Pat had a call from Dad's assisted living center (El Cerrito Royale) that Dad had fallen. He was found on the floor on his hands and knees during a regular check (about every 2 hours). He had been put to bed earlier. Royale called the hospice nurse center, and a hospice nurse would be visiting Saturday morning. Pat, Karen, and Fiona planned to visit Dad around noon on Saturday and take Dad to lunch.

Pat and company arrived around 11:30 to find Dad having lunch sitting in his wheelchair, though Pat had called to say he was taking Dad to lunch. Dad was using his left hand to eat, and complained about his right shoulder hurting, so he must have fallen on his right shoulder. The hospice nurse hadn't arrived.

They asked him if he wanted to go out to lunch at the nearby Mexican restaurant, and Dad said why not. They told Royale they would be gone for about an hour. They asked Dad if he wanted the walker or wheelchair, and he said the wheelchair. But when they tried to get Dad from the wheelchair to the car, Dad couldn't get up and pull himself into the car. When Pat and Karen tried to help, Dad said his shoulder was hurting. They all agreed to walk to the restaurant with Dad in his wheelchair.

At the restaurant, Dad couldn't decide what to order so Pat ordered nachos for him. Before the nachos arrived, Dad said to Fiona, "You know, this is Japanese food." Pat was able to get Dad to eat a couple of bites of nachos, but Dad said that he just didn't have any appetite. Fiona told Dad about school and the family's upcoming trip to Japan. Dad didn't ask any questions. He couldn't hold a conversation though they all tried to talk with him.

When they got back to Dad's room, Dad asked Pat if this was his home. Pat said yes, this is where is staying. Dad said that was good to know, as though it was something he had been thinking about, and just remembered to ask. Pat asked Dad if he wanted to go to the house, and Dad said no.

Back at Dad's room, Pat fixed the TV which wasn't playing sound, and had frozen images. After more work, he was able to get subtitles working, so Dad could watch a movie while they took his hearing aids to Costco to be cleaned. Pat was able to get one working, but not the other. I had called Costco earlier in the week and was told we could bring the hearing aids in for cleaning any time without an appointment, and that Dad didn't need to be there. But when Pat, Karen, and Fiona arrived at Costco, they were asked if they had an appointment, and told they couldn't have the hearing aids cleaned. I will try to have them cleaned next weekend.

Back at Dad's room, the hospice nurse arrived (not Dad's regular hospice nurse), and examined Dad. She couldn't find any broken bones on his hands or arms or bruises on his arm or shoulder or cuts or bruises on his knees, but did notice that his right shoulder was painful. She recommended just anti-inflammatory medication. Her records showed that Dad was only getting one dose of morphine, but the regular hospice nurse had told us he was getting a second dose. She didn't recommend him getting more since it would make him groggy.

Pat, Karen, and Fiona needed to leave, so they said goodbye to Dad.