Howard Update 3/23

By Kevin

Though I was sick with a cold during the week, I was well enough to visit Dad on Saturday. Katie also had a bad cold, so Margaret took her to urgent care Saturday morning since she had a high temperature, and kept complaining about her throat being sore. So far it doesn't look like strep throat. So it was just me visiting Dad.

I arrived around noon, and Dad wasn't in the room, so most likely at lunch. I dropped off some hearing aid batteries and other supplies. I watched a little TV to make sure it was working, since Pat saw problems with it, and it wasn't on when I arrived. The TV was working fine.

Dad arrived around 1:00 in his wheelchair with the help of a caregiver. When he saw me he said, "Well, about time one of you came to visit." He is much thinner than the last time I saw him, with his face looking thin. His hair had been cut, but also looked thinner. He wanted to take a nap, and was able to stand up from his wheelchair and sit on the bed. As he was getting onto the bed he said, "You know, it's terrible." And I said, "Being so tired?" And he said, "Yes." I'm still learning that I should ask him what he means rather than proposing an answer.

I told him I would take his hearing aids to be cleaned. He said that they work sometimes, and sometimes not. The caregiver and I removed his hearing aids. He said, "I wish there was some way we could communicate." I held up my phone that has an app I can use to show the text of what I speak. He said, "Okay." And laid back on the bed.

I took his hearing aids to a hearing aid center at El Cerrito Plaza, where they quickly cleaned them for free, and warned me about some minor damage for Costco to repair. I had lunch at Chipotle across the street, a coffee at Peet's across the street from Chipotle, then back to a See's Candies near the hearing aid center for a pound of soft center candies for Dad. But first I stopped off at the house to pick up Dad's mail that Connie (the tenant) left out for me, and check to see how the house is.

Back at Royale at 3:45, Dad was still sleeping. I put batteries in his hearing aids so they would be ready when he woke up. He woke up at 4:15 and after i put his hearing aids in he asked what time it was. He was surprised he slept so long. After a visit to the bathroom, he sat in his lounge chair and I opened the See's. He had one, and enjoyed it. His hearing aids seemed to be working well.

He started asking me a lot of questions. "What is this place? What are those (wheelchair and walker) for? Who's taking care of the house? Who is paying all the girls (the caregivers)?" I answered all his questions, and he seemed satisfied with the answers. He asked about Margaret and Katie and I told him about Katie being sick and Margaret taking her to the hospital. He didn't comment, but later asked if Katie was getting better. I told him things like the next Pelican race being in Stockton, but he didn't comment.

He said, "the days keep coming and going." He also commented that he often finds himself in unfamiliar places, but has gotten used to that. I asked him if he had been watching any TV, and he said he hasn't, though he used to watch a lot. I asked about his appetite, and he said he doesn't have much of an appetite, and he doesn't "feel the lack" (hunger) between meals.

He asked how big his balcony is, and whether he could sit out there. I told him it was large enough for him to sit on, and that I had an outdoor chair from home in his room that he could use. He decided to get up, and started to get up without the walker handy, so I moved it for him to use. He used the walker to go to the sliding door to the balcony, bu then decided to sit inside. I got a chair for him, and we sat and looked outside at the hills.

At about 5:15 a caregiver came to take him to dinner. For about a week he has been having meals in the "memory center" where they feed him, since the hospice nurse was concerned that he's not eating enough. I decided it would be a good time to leave so I said goodbye, and that I would see him again (most likely Thursday after work).